Hero Of War
by CanadianAnjel
Summary: song fic for hero of war by rise against rated M for Character Death,suicide and mature themes


_He said, "Son, have you seen the world?  
Well, what would you say if I said that you could?  
Just carry this gun, you'll even get paid"  
I said, "That sounds pretty good"_

at first i thought i could fight for my country! it would be awesome beat the hell out of the assholes who ruined our country ill be consitered a hero! well ive always been the hero every sence i was a child. i could remeber the hugs and tears i got from my brothers when i told them i'd enlisted in the army the look on mattys face and his words "youll be fine i belive in you" he gave me another boost i needed twins allways knew what to say

_Black leather boots, spit shined so bright  
They cut off my hair but it looks alright  
We marched and we sang  
We all became friends as we learned how to fight_

the drill instructors were hell but the other men their quickly became friends and matty got mad at me cuz i had to cut my hair well buzz cut my hair and i had to get contacts but i thought my hair looked fine and anyway hair grows back! i bet i would be longer than his is when i get out. some of the other guys were jealous of me because i was in better shape than most of them (despite all the hamburgers i can put down) and easily was the lead runner and one of the stronger people there

_A hero of war, yeah that's what I'll be  
And when I come home they'll be damn proud of me  
I'll carry this flag to the grave if I must  
'Cause it's flag that I love and a flag that I trust_

i and the rest of the men finally finnished boot camp and got sent to iraq. the first few weeks were kinda hard but i kept thinking that my country needed me and that i could be the hero! and i would be everyone would be so proud when i get back but i got to call matty and arthur everyday hopefully avoiding phone sex with francis and they tell me how things are back home while i tell them how it is over here

_I kicked in the door, I yelled my commands  
The children they cried but I got my man  
We took him away, a bag over his face  
From his family and his friends_

we finally got our first mission and got a man who knows about the organization and were the leader was hiding but the problem was he had 4 kids and a wife but it didnt matter we needed to finish the mission and bring him back we needed to help and we did it just left a strange feeling in my chest

_They took off his clothes, they pissed in his hands  
I told them to stop but then I joined in  
We beat him with guns and batons  
Not just once but again and again_

i didnt want to torture him to get the information out but thats what we had to do he just wouldent talk! it was terrible what we had to do but we had to do it. i got a little depressed because matty wasnt calling me every day and when he was he was hiding something from me and something big. arthur never talked to me anymore and whenever i called matty or francis picked up telling me that he wasnt here or that he was asleep but i could still tell they were hiding something from me they just wouldnt tell me

_A hero of war, yeah that's what I'll be  
And when I come home they'll be damn proud of me  
I'll carry this flag to the grave if I must  
'Cause it's flag that I love and a flag that I trust_

ive been getting more and more depressed, matty hardy calls anymore, arthur wont respond to my e-mails and even francis wont pick up his phone or text me back no matter how i start off the message. you know how twins are connected in a way no one else really understands? well me and matty are that way and i can tell he's in pain because i feel it too but why he wont answer his phone is beyond me

_She walked through bullets and haze  
I asked her to stop, I begged her to stay  
But she pressed on  
So I lifted my gun and I fired away_

we were attacked today by _children! _those coward bastards brainwashed children to walk out onto the battlefeild with bombs on their chest! and the damage they did was horrific! i was the only one left alive and uningered everyone else was dead or down bleeding to death. this was just too much they know most of us dont have the heart to shoot children! thats why they do it! its to much for me to take

_And the shells jumped through the smoke  
And into the sand that the blood now had soaked  
She collapsed with a flag in her hand  
A flag white as snow_

i shot a little girl today even though she had a bomb strapped to her chest it didnt matter she was no more than 13 and i ended her life when it was just begining what kind of person does that? can you answer?

_A hero of war is that what they see  
Just medals and scars, so damn proud of me  
And I brought home that flag, now it gathers dust  
But it's a flag that I love, it's the only flag I trust_

i was sent home with a silver star and i had to walk home alone because matty wouldent pick up the phone so i could tell him i was honorably discharged. i got so may salutes, hand shakes and pats on the back from people i didnt even know, how they could touch me is amazing how they could still act kindly to a murderus monster like me. when i got to my house matty was surprised happy and sad at the same time francis was the same way but there was no arthur in the house and the reason for that was... he had a mental break down when i left and was sent to the psych ward in the hospital. i didnt tell them anything in fact i didnt even smile to see them i couldnt smile every time i did it brought back memories i know i cant forget. i could tell they were worried but why should they be?

_He said, "Son, have you seen the world?  
Well, what would you say if I said that you could?"_

matty and francis found out half of what happend and have been trying to get me to go to these AA meetings and a PTSD clinic but that wouldnt help i know the only thing that could help was the pistol in my hand and a bullet in my head and thats what i desided i knew francis and matty got my message when i heard them bust my front door open and start yelling but it was too late i made up my mind and no ones going to change that the last thing i heard was them screaming at me to put the gun down before

"im sorry i cant"

BANG!

15 minutes before-

"matty you have a messsage and i dont know how to work these things!" matthew sighed and pressed the playback button shocked to hear alfred's voice over the machine

"_matthew,francis i apprectiate you trying to help me but its too late for saving me. that girl i killed was only 13 and she was trying to surrender and i got a silver fucking star for that! how can you still love someone like me? well you dont have to worry yourself's about me anymore...ive desided i dont deserve to live after what ive done..tell arthur im sorry for making him have a mental break down. im sorry for leaving you like this and im sorry for living at is the last thing you'll hear from me and by the time you get to my appertment ill already be gone...i love you but i know it doesnt matter anymore...goodbye"_

matthew and francis were alread out the door and on the way to his appartment but like he said they were already to late

"AL PLEASE! PUT THE GUN DOWN WE CAN HELP YOU!" mathew was crying histaricly_  
"im sorry i cant"_

_BANG!  
_


End file.
